CHRIS is in a coma after remembering his crazy dream. Jonny's there by his side, trying to gather up the courage to profess his love.
It's a slash fic!
It's also a sequel to Put A Smile Upon Your Face!
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"How is he?" Jonny asked as he walked into the hospital room.
"He's doing OK, I guess," Teresa replied, shrugging her shoulders. "The doctors said he probably just fainted, but they admitted him anyway just in case."
"He hasn't woken up yet?"
"No, that's why I think there's something they're not telling us." Jonny looked at Chris' unconscious body. Even when he wasn't awake Chris looked worried.
"Some first date, huh?"
"Yeah, well, I think it'll be our only date," she replied.
"Why?"
"Because he's in love with...," she paused, looking at Jonny. She knew the name that would complete the sentence, but thought it would be respectful to Chris to not reveal it. "...someone else."
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"Come on, stop crying," she told Chris. He thought it was a bit odd for a girl to tell him to stop crying, even if the girl was actually just himself. "Crying will not wash away how you feel."
"I can't do this. I can't be in love with Jonny."
"Why not?"
"Because it's too complicated," he replied. She sat down next to him.
"Is it?"
"Yes, it is."
"I don't think so," she said. "And I'm you, so you don't think so either."
"No, I do think it is... because it is."
"It's not complicated at all, Chris. Love is not a complicated thing. Love is simple and beautiful."
"This can't be happening."
"People make things complicated. Like you're making this complicated."
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"How do you know?"
"It was obvious. He couldn't stop talking about... that person," Teresa replied. "Aw, but you should have seen the look on his face when he did. He just... lit up."
"I'll bet."
"Hmm, do I detect a hint of jealousy?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"It's OK, best friends fall in love with each other all the time."
"Each other?"
"Hello, everyone," the doctor said as he walked in the room along with a nurse. He walked over to the end of the bed, and picked up the chart that was hanging there, while the nurse checked the IV."Hmm..."
"What is it?" Jonny asked.
"It seems that... well, right now we're not so sure what is wrong with him."
"Oh."
"But," he started, turning around to face Jonny, "I wouldn't worry just yet. His condition doesn't seem to be worsening, so-"
"Doctor," the nurse interrupted. "Come take a look at this." She was pointing to the brainwave monitor that Chris was hooked up to.
"Oh, my," the doctor said, observing the screen. "Delta waves..."
"What does that mean?" Jonny worriedly asked.
"Your friend is in a coma."
-
"Let me ask you something, Chris. Do you really think that you can make this all go away?"
"Yes," he lied. "All I have to do is stop loving Jonny."
"And you think you can do that."
"I know I can." There was no point in lying to himself, but he did it anyway. It made him feel a tiny bit better.
"No, Chris, you can't." Her tone was very serious, now. Almost as if she was becoming angry. "You're in love with Jonny, and that's all there is to it."
"I don't want to be."
"No one said you wanted to be! Anyone can long to be in love, but no one gets to choose who they end up loving. That's just the way life is."
"But why Jonny?" he asked.
"Because he is so kind and sweet to you. You're a huge pain in the ass ninety-five percent of the time, and it's a wonder that you have friends at all."
"Gee, thanks for the compliment."
"I'm just saying what you think," she said. "Jonny's always been the best friend you've ever had, and you know he'd take care of you in a heartbeat if he had to."
"He would, wouldn't he?"
"Yeah. And you think you don't deserve that, which makes you love him even more. The fact that he can see past your many annoying qualities and appreciate whatever small portion of you is actually good is astounding."
"I'm really hard on myself, huh?"
"It's just how you feel. You dislike yourself, and you love Jonny."
"Yeah, I do."
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Jonny was sitting alone in the hospital room with Chris. Chris had been in a coma for a day now, and Jonny had been with him the entire time. Teresa left shortly after Jonny arrived, though she did call frequently throughout the day to check up on Chris' condition.
'I wonder what he's thinking,' Jonny thought to himself. 'Can people even think when they're in comas? Maybe I should ask that doctor...'
Almost as if someone had heard his thoughts, the doctor walked into the room. He did as he had the previous day; walked in- this time silently- and checked the chart.
"Excuse me," Jonny said, startling the doctor.
"Oh, I didn't see you there," he laughed. "Gave me a fright. Whew."
"Sorry. Um, I was just wondering... can people think when they're in a coma?"
"I would say yes. People say that coma patients are basically aware of their surroundings, but they can't respond. You know what I mean?"
"So, Chris can hear us?"
"I like to think so. And who knows? Maybe if you talk to him, it'll help him get out of it quicker." Jonny moved his seat over by Chris' bed. He leaned forward.
"Hey, Chris. So... you're in a coma." Jonny felt very awkward. It was weird just talking to someone who couldn't answer back, and he felt that the doctor's presence only made it weirder. "You should, you know, stop that."
-----------------------------------------
"Do you hear that?" she asked. Chris looked up.
"Is that Jonny?"
"He's talking to you."
"Where am I? Besides here, of course. I mean, where am I in real life?" he asked.
"The hospital. You're in a coma."
"A coma?... How? Why?"
"You did this to yourself. Remember how you're making this whole thing more complicated than it needs to be?"
"Well, what am I supposed to do?"
"Accept how you feel," she said. "Be okay with the fact that you're in love. It's a wonderful feeling, you know."
"I suppose. But... Jonny? It just seems impossible."
"It's not. Until you learn that, you're stuck here."
-
Jonny was once again alone in the hospital room with Chris. Teresa had just popped in for a visit, but had to leave for work. Jonny had tried talking to Chris in an attempt to bring him out of the coma quicker. He still felt silly, even after doing so a few times, but he had a sneaking suspicion that it was actually working.
So, he sat beside the bed, staring at Chris. He had a million things to say, but he wasn't sure where to begin. He could try to make small talk again, which was difficult to do in a one-sided conversation, or he could just vent. The idea that Jonny could tell Chris absolutely anything, even more than when they were both conscious, and Chris wouldn't judge him at all was terrificly enticing. He wasn't sure he was ready to say the words aloud yet, though.
"Well... here goes nothing."
---------------------------------------------------
"Why does he keep doing that?" Chris asked. He could hear Jonny speaking to him, though he couldn't understand every word.
"Because he cares about you, and he wants you to know it."
"I do know it."
"You know that he cares about you as a friend," she said.
"Are you saying that he... he cares about me as more than a friend?"
"I'm not saying anything," she replied. "We're both the same, and I don't have any more knowledge than you do."
"So he doesn't?"
"Again, I don't know that. But you hope that he does." Chris stared off at the lake. He could still hear Jonny's beautiful voice.
"Do you think he does?" he asked.
"Sometimes," she answered. "That look you give him, when you think he's not looking back, sometimes I see him look at you like that."
"So I wasn't just imagining that?" Chris could feel his hope rising.
"I don't think so."
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"Hi again, Chris," Jonny said. "I don't know why I need to greet you, it's not as if I've really left this room in the past few days. People must think I'm crazy. Like Teresa. She was here before. Came to visit for a bit."
Jonny looked around the room nervously. It was hard for him to share his feelings, even with his best friend. He wanted to tell him everything, but he just couldn't.
"She's a really nice girl, Teresa. And she's really got a thing for you... but she told me you were in love with someone else." Jonny felt just as awkward as he always did, but he forced himself to be brave.
"I know it sounds a bit silly, but that kinda disappointed me, you know? Because... because I think you and Teresa would make a great couple? Maybe because she knew before I did? You never told me..." Jonny watched as Chris' chest rose and fell with every breath he took. He wondered what kind of girl would be able to win the heart of such a great man. She'd probably have to be beautiful, almost to the point of drop-dead gorgeousness. Not to mention talented, smart, funny...
"Ugh, who am I kidding? Teresa was right. I was jealous." Jonny reached over and placed his hand on Chris'. "I want you to love me."
-
"Did he just... did he just say what I think he said?" Chris asked, alertly looking up at the sky.
"I want you to love me," she said, nodding.
"I do." Chris felt a strange sensation when he said the words. It was almost as if he needed to gather up massive amounts of strength to say them. He continued to look up to the sky and shouted, "I love you, Jonny!!"
"He can't understand you. But I see you're getting closer to accepting your feelings for him."
"I know he can't. And... why does he want me to love him?"
"Maybe..."
"Maybe he does love me back?" Chris excitedly asked.
"It's a scary thought," she said. Their emotions had seemed to switch. Now she was the one with the doubts, not Chris.
"It's a wonderful thought!"
"Chris, you've never even been that serious with a girl. Your last relationship lasted, what, a week?"
"Two months," he bitterly replied, narrowing his eyes.
"And it hurt when she dumped you, right? But you didn't even like her all that much."
"No, I guess I didn't," he muttered.
"But you love Jonny. If he does love you back..."
"If??" he asked, beginning to freak out. Just a minute before, she was trying to convince him that loving Jonny was a good thing. He thought he had finally reached that point, and now she was trying to pull him in the opposite direction.
"You better not screw this up."
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"What does it mean?" Jonny asked the doctor. They were standing at the end of Chris' bed. Chris was still unconscious, but every now and then he would make a sort of mumbling noise.
"It means his condition is improving. He's still comatose, but he might not be far from waking up."
Jonny looked over at Chris. He couldn't help thinking that his talking is what brought on the improvement. It felt a little selfish to think so, but he did.
"Remember when you said talking might help?"
"You've been talking to him, then?"
"Yeah," he said, turning back to the doctor. "And I think it does work."
"I wouldn't be surprised," the doctor replied as his beeper went off. He checked it and said, "Oh, I'm being paged. There's an emergency, it looks like. I've got to go, but I'll check in later."
"OK," Jonny said as he watched the doctor leave. He walked back over to the chair beside the bed, and sat down.
Chris' short hair had grown a bit over the few days he'd spent there. His stubble and grown into quite a beard as well. The wires connected to the monitors sneaked under the slight opening of his hospital gown, where they were taped firmly to his chest. There were also two wires that were attached to his temples. With every breath he took, the wires moved in sync with his chest. His eyes were closed, but his mouth was open. He was trying to speak, but all that came out was a jumbled mess of incoherent sound. Jonny hated seeing him this way. He wanted so desperately for Chris to return to him, though he knew that Chris would not return to him specifically. He didn't care so much, though, he just wanted his friend back and to know that he was OK.
"Chris, please come back. I miss you... and... well, you could probably guess by now, even though you're not awake or anything. But I've tried so hard to show it, so that you'd pick up on it and I wouldn't have to tell you. I guess you haven't, though, or you don't care..."
-------------------------------------------------------
"Can I please go back now?" Chris asked.
"You're still not ready."
"I thought all I had to do was accept my love for Jonny. I did that already!"
"Well, obviously something is holding you back," she said.
"It's you."
"Excuse me?"
"You sat here this whole time, trying to tell me that all this was OK, and now you're holding me back by telling me that it won't go so well."
"I guess... I guess you're right. It's just that before you were afraid that he wouldn't love you, which you still don't know that he really does, by the way."
"Why else would he want me to love him?" he asked.
"Exactly. But you never know, right?" she replied.
"I hate me sometimes."
"Yeah. Anyway, now I'm just afraid that you'll mess it up. Like you always do."
"Shh," Chris said, listening intently to his surroundings. Jonny was once again talking, but Chris felt that what he was saying now was more important than anything he'd said before.
"...But I'd like to think that you just haven't picked up on the fact that I... well, that I love you. More than anything."
"Oh my God..." Chris was shaking with excitement. "Oh my God, he loves me. Let me go back!!" he demanded, turning to her. She shook her head, and repeated what she had said before.
"You better not screw this up."
-
"I love you. More than anything," Jonny said, staring intently at Chris. "Wow... you're not even awake and that was difficult. I can't imagine what it would be like if you were conscious."
"More difficult."
"Yeah." Jonny looked around the room, searching for nothing in particular. He was just thinking about what it would be like to really tell Chris he loved him. It would certainly be a challenge, and Jonny was afraid that maybe it would change their friendship if Chris didn't feel the same.
Suddenly, Jonny widened his eyes, hit by a shocking realization. "Oh my God!"
"I was wondering when you'd catch on," Chris laughed. "It took you a bit."
"You're awake."
"Yes, that's what it looks like."
"You're OK."
"I think so, yeah. I feel great," Chris smiled.
"I should go get a nurse or something," Jonny said, standing up. "I'll be right back."
He walked over the door and reached for the handle, but he froze before opening it. "Oh no..."
"What is it?"
"Please tell me... you didn't... hear..."
"I did. But it's-" Chris started, but Jonny had already swung the door open and fled the room. "-not a bad thing, 'cause I love you, too."
A bit later, the nurse who Jonny called in and the doctor were finished examining Chris. He appeared to be completely back to normal. They exited the room, leaving Chris by himself. Jonny hadn't come back since he went to fetch the nurse.
Chris laid in silence. He was quite upset, seeing as how he'd left the loneliness of his mind to return to the man who basically abandoned him as soon as he woke up. To make it worse, he knew that Jonny only left because he was scared, but there was nothing Chris could do to reassure him. He didn't know where Jonny went, and he couldn't leave the bed, let alone the room.
As he thought about where Jonny could have gone, the door opened and two men walked in.
"Chris," Guy said, walking over to the bed. "Jonny called us and told us you were awake."
"We're so glad to have you back, man," Will said.
"Thanks... uh, where is he?"
"Who, Jonny?"
"Yeah."
"Well, he called from here," Guy said. "So, isn't he, you know, here?"
"He left the room to get a nurse, and he didn't come back."
"When did he leave, exactly?"
"Just after I woke up."
"Why would he not come back?" Will asked.
"I don't know," Chris lied. "Do you think he's here somewhere?"
"I guess it's possible. I could go look, if you want."
"If you don't mind, that would be nice. I really need to talk to him."
"I don't mind. Guy, you should stay here and keep Chris company."
"OK," Guy agreed, and Will left to find Jonny. Guy sat down in the chair beside Chris' bed. "Tell me why he left."
"I told you before, I don't know."
"Yes, you do. Tell me why."
"Before I woke up... well, before he knew I was conscious, he told me something. And I guess he didn't really want me to hear it."
"He finally told you?" Guy asked.
"You knew?"
"He talks about it with Will and me all the time."
"We are talking about the same thing, aren't we?" Chris asked.
"He loves you," Guy replied. "But you love him, too, right? I assume he doesn't know that, though."
"Yeah. I tried to tell him, but he left before I could."
"I'm sure Will'll find Jonny, bring him back here. You can tell him then."
-
"Wait a minute," Guy said. "Will's got his phone. You could call him and have him tell Jonny that it's all OK or whatever."
"Um... you can do that," Chris replied.
"Look, you can use my phone," Guy said, pulling his cellphone out of his pocket. "Just ask him if he's found Jonny yet, and then... I don't know. Go from there."
Elsewhere in the hospital, Jonny was sitting with Will on a bench. It hadn't taken Will long to find him, but they stayed and chatted for a while. Jonny was afraid to face Chris after revealing his love, but he didn't have it in him to actually leave the hospital. Will was trying to convince Jonny that everything would be fine, and that Chris was a nice guy and wouldn't be angry or upset about it if he didn't feel the same way.
"And anyway, you don't know that he doesn't feel the same. You haven't let him tell you how he feels yet."
"I know, but the thought of him not... It's just too much to handle."
"So you're not even gonna give him a chance?" Will asked. Before Jonny could respond, however, his pants began to ring. Will reached into his pocket and answered his phone. "Yeah... yes... no, but you can."
Jonny stared at Will, trying to figure out who he was talking to. After a few more cryptic sentences, Will handed the phone to him.
"Hello?"
"I love you, too," Chris said. "So you didn't have to leave."
"Please tell me you're not joking."
"I'm not joking. Why would I joke about this? I mean, I know I'm not always to most serious person in the world, but give me a little credit."
"Sorry... Do you hate me now? For leaving?" Jonny asked.
"No, I just told you that I love you. That kinda means I don't hate you. And why the fuck would I hate you for that? You're really silly, you know that?"
"Yeah, I'm kind of an idiot."
"No, you're not," Chris said reassuringly. "Will you please come back now? I came out of this coma to see you."
"What?"
"Listen, it's a long story. Just come back, please?"
"All right. I'll be there in a few minutes." Jonny closed the phone and gave it back to Will.
"So?" Will asked.
"We're going back to the room."
"Attaboy!" Will exclaimed, slapping Jonny on the back. They stood up and began to walk back to Chris' room.
"Chris said he came out of the coma to see me. What do you think that's supposed to mean?" Jonny asked as they made their way through the hallway.
"It's supposed to mean... that he came out of the coma to see you?"
"Is that even possible?"
"Do I look like a doctor to you? And it doesn't matter anyway, right, 'cause he doesn't hate you."
"Nope," Jonny smiled. "He loves me."
-
"Listen, if you two can't keep your tongues to yourselves, then you can just get the hell out of my flat," Will shouted. He, Chris, Jonny, and Guy were sitting in the living room of Will's apartment. Chris was sitting in Jonny's lap, and they were intensely making out. Neither of them heard Will.
"This is our fault, you know," Guy said, shaking his head. "We just had to get them together. At least they're not complaining about their feelings now."
"I'd rather have to listen to Jonny bitch about it than sit here and watch them try to eat each other's faces. Here, hand me that," Will said, pointing to an object on the floor.
"The shoe?" Guy asked.
"No, the rug. Yes, the freaking shoe!" Guy did as Will told him, and Will took the shoe and chucked it at Chris. "OI, HAVE SOME DECENCY!"
The shoe collided with Chris' shoulder, causing him to pull away from Jonny and look over at Will.
"OW! What was that for?"
"What do you think it was for? Look at you two!"
"Yeah, Will and I are trying to have a conversation over here, and you two are sexing it up on the couch!"
"Oh, God, I hope they're not sexing it up on my couch," Will said, horrified. "That's where I eat dinner."
"Maybe you should get a kitchen table," Chris said.
"Maybe you should get a room," Will retorted. Chris turned to Jonny and wiggled his eyebrows. "One that is NOT in my flat, thank you," Will added.
"He's got a point you know," Jonny said. "It's kinda rude for us to be making out like that in front of them."
"They can handle it. Or, if they can't, they've obviously got shoes to throw," Chris said, rubbing his upper arm.
"Well, yeah, but... I mean," Jonny lowered his voice to a whisper, "there are plenty of empty rooms at my place."
"Jonny, that's dirty!! ... I love it," Chris smiled. He stood up off Jonny's lap and grabbed Jonny's hand. "Um... we're gonna go now. Bye!"
He and Jonny left, leaving Will and Guy to converse in peace. Unfortunately, they were both too disgusted to continue their earlier talk.
"Ugh, I'm gonna have nightmares now," Will said. "Why'd you have to say they were sexing it up??"
"I thought... well, I didn't mean for it to offend you or anything."
"I have no problem with them being together. If they're happy, it's all good. But that doesn't mean that I need to see them... 'be happy' together. Or think about it."
"Then don't think about it," Guy snapped.
"Do you want to make friends with the shoe, too?" Will threatened.
"Will... I think I finally understand why people think you're the mean one."
The next thing Guy knew, he and the shoe were very good friends indeed.
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