Smile

Today is the day. The day. The most important day of my life.

It's our first gig, our first real gig. The one to say We made it. We finally made it.

After all those years, all that hard work, it's finally paid off. And people are going to recognize us, man! They'll see us, and they'll say, "Wow, these guys, they really know what they're doing. They're great-"

Ah, who am I kidding?
We're shit.

This gig is for a crowd of maybe 50 people, if we're lucky. It'll probably only be five. And they'll probably leave before the first song has even started. I would. We're shit.

So I don't really see a point in trying very hard, but as we're sitting backstage Jonny walks up to me and frowns. I hate when he does that.

"Chris, cheer up, man," he says, and I almost snap at him until I remember that I can never snap at Jonny.

"They're going to hate us, man, I know it."

"So what? If they do, then... at least we still have each other. Uh- the four of us have each other."

"I guess."

Jonny sighs and stalks off, knowing that he can't help me. It tears me up to think that he can't, though, because I know it hurts him when he has to walk away like that. So the next time he looks at me I try to smile, just to see if he'll smile back. He does, and it's-

Well, here's the thing. I never really intended on joining a band. To be honest I could barely play much more than "When the Saints Go Marching In" on the keyboard when I started college. Well, I could play some guitar, too. And that's how it all began.

One day I was walking through the halls, and there was Jonny, playing. Normally I wouldn't have cared, except that I noticed he was drop dead gorgeous. Seriously, this man had the most stunning green eyes ever, and as I watched him play (I'm not creepy, I promise) I saw him smile, and that just did it.

I ran to my room and grabbed my guitar, then ran back down the hallway and just happened to stumble upon him again, and in my total surprise, I came up with the brilliant idea of us playing together. He smiled at me and agreed, and I had to rush over and sit down next to him before my knees gave out.

I was fine with spending my afternoons just playing with Jonny, but he suggested that we find some others and start a band. I couldn't say no, so a few weeks later we formed a group with Guy and Will. Then everything took off from there.

Anyway, I guess that smile saves me, because only a few minutes afterward we're heading onstage, and I feel like I'm going to throw up. But I don't feel like running away screaming anymore, which is good.

It seems like all I do is blink and we're already halfway through the setlist. Maybe that's because we're only playing about six songs. I look over to Jonny and he smiles at me again, and I can hardly control myself. When the song ends I skip over to him and kiss him on the cheek. He thinks it's all for show.

Everyone thinks it's all for show. One day they'll realize it's not.

I just hope that that day doesn't come too late.