So S.A.D.

JONNY has to do a project... with a partner. Will his social anxiety get in the way? (Yes)

It's not a slash fic!

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First days are always scary. For everyone. It's just normal. A normal part of life.
For me, though, second days are just as scary. And third days. And fourth. And fifth.
The scariest one of all, fifty-eighth.


“What you're being handed out now is a sheet that lists the requirements of your projects. The due date is next Friday, so you've got a week to complete them.”

Little by little, the desks of the students gained a nice blue sheet of paper set right in the middle. The students bent their heads down and read, groaning at the thought of having to take time from their precious lives to work on a tiny, insignificant school project. But when I got the paper, that's not what bothered me.
Written at the very bottom of the page was a line informing me that I had to present my project to the class. The presentation had to be ten minutes long. As if I wasn't freaking out enough already, the teacher decided to add fuel to the fire.

“You'll be working with a partner of your choice-”

I didn't know anyone in that class. Well, I knew who they were, but I had never spoken to any of them. I'm not sure any of them even knew who I was. If they did, it would certainly be a shock.

“-but I'd like you all to pick a person you've never worked with before. It's easy to become comfortable with your friends and adamantly only ever pick them, but one of the skills you need to learn for the real world is interaction with those you may not think of interacting with at first. So, if you could please find a partner now, that would be greatly appreciated.”

Oh, the fact that everyone had to choose someone they didn't know did not help one bit. Quickly, the room split off into pairs, and it seemed like I was the only one left. I didn't know what I was going to do, and I didn't really want to go up to the teacher and tell him that I had no one. Talking to him was just as bad as talking to my classmates.

“Excuse me! I don't have a partner!”

Obviously, this would be the voice of my partner, since I was the only other person left alone. I couldn't recognize it, though, and I didn't feel like looking up from the paper to find out who he was.

A ten minute presentation with someone I didn't know. Oh man.

“Um... Right, Jonathan seems to be partner-less at the moment, so you'll be paired with him.”

“Oh, ok!” A minute passed before I heard his voice again. I was still stuck on that freaking presentation thing. “Hey, man, sorry about not seeing you or anything. If I had seen you, I would have asked to be partners... but I didn't see you. Sorry!”

This kid already talked too much, but I had a feeling it might come in handy. After all, if he did all the talking, then maybe the presentation wouldn't be so bad. Although, having to work with him...

“So, you're name's Jonathan,” he stated, “I'm Chris...topher. Um, but everyone calls me Chris, and that's kinda the way I prefer it, if that's all right.”

I had no other choice, really, but to look up and acknowledge him. So I did, if not tentatively.

“I'm Jonathan, yeah. If it's easier, you can call me Jonny.”

“Jonny,” he said with a creepy sort of smile. But that wasn't nearly as bad as the rapping. “I like that. Jonnyboy. Jay. Jayman. J-J-J-J-Jon, Jon-neh, Jon-izzle, Jon-baree, working with me, uhn, on our project for history! Yeah! All right.”

As ridiculous as this kid was, I couldn't help laughing. It was mostly nervous laughter, but a tiny part of me actually found him funny. A really tiny part.

The rest of me was just amazed. Here was this kid, dressed like Napoleon Dynamite pretty much to a tee, save for the glasses, but he didn't seem to care at all. He just stood there with his goofy grin, massive mop of hair, oversized t-shirt and baggy jeans loosely hanging from his lanky frame, and much more reason to be embarrassed in public than I have. But not only did he stand there, he basically emphasized his oddness by opening his mouth and letting out sounds, probably without thinking about them beforehand... or afterward.
None of it bothered him. He never stopped. His endless cycle of confidence was astounding, especially to a person like me, who has trouble just saying one word to a person. He could spew out a thousand words and never think twice about any of them.

So, that fifty-eighth day was almost a first day for me, in a way. It was the day that I decided to proactively change my life for the better. No longer would I be timid little Jonny Buckland. No longer would I be afraid to say what I think, paranoid that one small thing could turn the whole world against me. No longer would I care that I'm not always one hundred percent correct one hundred percent of the time.

It was from that day on that I aspired to be brave, even if I wasn't sure it would work. And actually, as insane as it makes me, it was from that day on that I aspired to be Chris.