Evhil

PHIL sucks. End of story.

It's a slash fic!

---

If asked just how he knew that it was finally the right time, Chris wouldn't have been able to answer. It was just this gut feeling he had that told him... well, tell him. There's no time like the present.

So with trembling hands he tapped Jonny's shoulder and prepared himself. Jonny spun around with an expectant and polite smile, waiting for Chris to speak.

There was some odd force that pulled Chris's eyes to the side. In the corner of the room stood Guy and Phil, engaged in some sort of conversation. And suddenly the will to confess died down and Chris had to search for something new to say.

“Chris?” Jonny calmly said. Chris snapped his view back to Jonny and struggled.

“Oh, uh... the, uh... well, I guess it's not that important if I can't remember,” Chris awkwardly laughed. Jonny smiled, patted Chris on the arm, then walked away. Chris was left with a sinking feeling in his heart as he watched Jonny's figure disappear through the doorway and into the giant backstage area.

As Jonny rounded the corner, his heart sank a little, too. He had seen the look on Chris's face when he turned around, and had hoped that it was finally happening. His dreams were finally coming true.

But as that wasn't the case, he needed to stalk off to console himself. Perhaps a walk to clear his mind.

Then somewhere along the way his mind cleared itself of everything but Chris. Chris, and Chris's bright eyes, and Chris's adorable curls, and Chris's clumsy sense of balance, and Chris's homeless sense of fashion, and Chris's illegibly messy handwriting, and Chris's contagious laughter, and Chris's enormous smile, and Chris's soothing voice, and Chris's general loveliness.

Jonny nearly walked himself right into an open door because he wasn't paying any attention to the real world. He caught himself just in time and froze nearly an inch away, the doorknob just barely brushing against his jacket.

“Oh, sorry about that, mate!” Phil called as he shut the door behind him. “I didn't realize you'd be there.”

“No, it's OK,” Jonny said, this feeling of shame abruptly waving over him. “I should have been watching where I was going.”

“Well, maybe we should both be more careful in the future,” Phil said, and Jonny agreed. Then they both went their separate ways, and Jonny tried to clear his head again.

But no, there was Chris once more, laughing away with that beautiful laugh of his. It took Jonny a fraction of a second to realize that he wasn't imagining it, and that Chris was actually laughing beside him. Jonny looked at Chris then turned to see where Chris's focus was being held.

Standing not too far away, with his arms open in shock, his torso covered in some sort of dark red liquid, was Will. Next to him, with the same shock spread over his face, a nearly empty glass of wine in his hand, was Guy.

“Oops,” Guy silently mouthed as he looked at the mess he'd created. Will tried his hardest not to look absolutely pissed, but he basically failed at that. He was clearly fuming, flaring his nostrils like some sort of dragon. In fact, Guy even thought he saw some smoke emanate from Will.

Chris turned his smile to Jonny and said, “Bad luck, eh? I certainly don't envy Guy right now.”

“Nor do I,” Jonny quietly replied.

Jonny and Chris remained locked in eye contact, and Jonny noticed that look on Chris's face again. The one that gave Jonny all the hope in the world for the future, and also threatened to kill him at the same time.

Jonny thought he saw the words form on Chris's lips, just about to slip past his vocal chords as the door opened and interrupted the entire room.

“Boys, you're on in a few- oh, Will,” Phil moaned. “What happened?”

“Guy happened,” Will said, pointing angrily at the man next to him. “Why the hell do you even have that, anyway, Guy?”

“I was thirsty,” Guy said in a small voice. Will blinked at him a few times before raising his voice.

“There are water bottles right over there!” Will yelled, flinging his arm around and almost knocking the glass entirely out of Guy's hand. “You know what? It's over now. What's done is done.”

“Yeah,” Phil agreed, “you don't have time to argue. Will, you better go change now or you're going to have to perform shirtless.”

“Oh, everyone would love that.”

As he left, Will attempted to dry the shirt a little with his hands, though he knew it was no use. Guy, in his ashamed way, set the glass down on the nearest table and made his way over to Chris and Jonny.

“Well, that was awful,” Guy obviously said.

“Listen, mate,” Chris began, “I get yelled at by Will more than anyone else, and trust me, after a while you get used to it.” Then Chris turned to Jonny, even though he was continuing his speech to Guy. “Although it is still kinda scary.”

“I'd imagine,” Guy replied, and Chris immediately looked back at him, though it seemed like he was abruptly being pulled out of some dream world. “I guess I should be more careful.”

“That's probably a good idea,” Chris agreed. “What do you think, Jon?”

Jonny's heart skipped a beat at the sound of Chris saying his name, and he had to really think hard for a response to the question he was only vaguely aware of. “Uh... yeah.”

It was halfhearted and so fake, but Jonny just had to roll with it. Guy bought it, but Chris's lingering stare suggested otherwise. “I think we should probably go out there, we're gonna be on soon,” Guy said.

Chris jumped in his spot and began to rub his hands together. “This is gonna be a great show, I can feel it.” He led the others out the door, but once they were in the giant area he let Guy pass him and paused for Jonny. Jonny tried to walk on as normally as he could, but was surprised to find that Chris had taken the liberty of linking their arms together.

“Chris, are you feeling OK?” Jonny laughed, trying to keep his cool.

“Ah, Jonny, I am feeling brilliant,” Chris beamed, his eyes wide with excitement. “I don't know what it is, but it's like... tonight, something magical is gonna happen.”

“If you say so.”

“Come on, J, get in the spirit!” Chris tugged at Jonny's arm, and consequently his heartstrings. “Are you gonna rock out tonight?”

“Of course,” Jonny energetically said, giving in to Chris's peer pressure. Chris smiled widely at him, then drifted off into his imagination.

“I wish I could do a back-flip. Wouldn't that be cool?”

“It would be cool, but you'd probably break your neck.”

“And then you'd have to spoon feed me.” Jonny questioningly narrowed his eyes at the crazy mass of energy beside him.

“Are you sure you're feeling OK?” Chris simply laughed as they walked up to Phil and Guy, where they were also rejoined by Will, decked out in a nice clean and wine-free shirt. Chris let his arm slide away from Jonny's, but he still stood very close.

“The crowd is bonkers already,” Phil said to them. “I think you guys are in for a good one.”

“Great one,” Chris corrected. His eyes sparkled like the sparklers they carried out onstage, except they weren't as violent and potentially harmful.

Luckily neither the sparklers or the lunatic 33-year-old man caused any damage as the quartet made their grand entrance. The vibe from the crowd was overly intoxicating, and as he slammed down the riffs in Violet Hill, Jonny couldn't help feeling that Chris was right- something magical was going to happen.

But this feeling occurred rather often, and while each time the night was magical, it was never as magical as Jonny would have hoped. This night he tried to lower his expectations, which was very hard to do and he needed to remind himself over and over, especially after each time Chris glanced in his direction.

The heart-racing finale to In My Place once again killed Jonny, what with Chris slinging his arm around Jonny's shoulder, and bending back on the floor farther than should ever be physically possible for any human being. When it came time to help Chris stand back up- even though Jonny was thoroughly convinced that Chris was far from needing his help- Jonny's hand was pouring out sweat at the speed of a bullet, but he assumed that Chris would just think it was the result of performing on a hot night, which was partially true.

It seemed like only seconds had passed once Strawberry Swing arrived, though it was certainly a much larger spam of time. Chris had realized about two songs ago what exactly was going to make the night magical- he was going to revive the feeling he had much earlier, and finally tell Jonny that thing that was always eating at him.

He walked over to Jonny as usual at the end of the song, and played along for about ten seconds before he leaned in. Jonny was used to this, though of course that did not mean that he wasn't stripped of air because of it. Chris's breathing shook a little as he tried to draw up enough courage to speak, and as he moved to speak into Jonny's ear, he saw a figure waiting on the side of the stage.

“Jonny...”

Jonny kept playing, trying his hardest to concentrate, but he began to worry a little when Chris didn't say anything else. “...Chris?”

Jonny pulled back to look at Chris, but was caught off guard by Chris's sudden movement. A deafening clash sounded throughout the stadium as their guitars smashed together and Chris fell unconscious into Jonny's arms. Several people rushed onstage to where Jonny was hopelessly holding onto Chris. The first person to arrive was Phil, who assisted Jonny in gently lowering Chris to the floor.

“What happened?” Phil shouted. Though the music had stopped, the crowd was louder than ever, shouting their worry in a most unhelpful way.

“I don't know,” Jonny shouted back, “he just kinda collapsed.”

“Maybe he's dehydrated or something.” Phil stood and ran a hand through his hair, while some of the other people around ran off to get some water. “Better hope that's all, anyway.”

The show ended, much to everyone's dismay, and Chris was laid down on one of the couches in the dressing rooms. He was given water, and had regained consciousness, but he was very weak and tired.

“How are you feeling?” Jonny kindly asked, knelt down beside Chris. Chris tried to open his eyes and sighed.

“Tired and lovesick.”

“What?” Jonny quietly laughed, though his insides were going crazy trying to think of what Chris meant.

“You heard me,” Chris said.

“I did... Chris-”

“Jonny!” someone called from outside the room. Jonny rolled his eyes, contemplated ignoring whoever was calling him, but eventually decided to temporarily leave Chris.

“Yeah?” Jonny started as he walked out the door. He was approached with the image of Phil and some other man in front of him, the other man being someone who Jonny had never once seen before in his life.

“Oh, sorry, but this man,” Phil placed his hand on the man's shoulder, “is a doctor. He's gotta examine Chris now, make sure he's OK.”

“Right, yeah,” Jonny replied. “Please do.”

The doctor, after being shown the door by Phil, left the two to chat while he checked on Chris. But Jonny didn't really feel like talking to Phil, so he just stood there silently and shuffled his feet a bit.

“Listen, Jon,” Phil said after a long bout of silence. “We need to have a talk, I think.”

“What, all four of us?”

“No,” Phil replied, “just you and I.”

“Oh. About what?”

Phil grabbed Jonny by the shoulder and tried to steer him away from the room. “You see, there's something that I've been noticing these past few weeks... something that I would say is maybe not exactly professional.”

“What do you mean?” Jonny asked, totally confused.

“Well, it's pretty obvious that you've been... how should I put this?” Phil paused and stopped walking, pretentiously trying to come up with the best possible phrasing. “It seems that you've been harboring some, well, feelings for our Mr. Martin there.”

“Feel... You... It's obvious?”

“Oh yeah.”

“So... do you think Chris already knows?” Jonny nervously asked.

“Jonny, I think you're missing the point,” Phil sternly said. “It's just not something that needs to be brought into the workplace, you know? So, if you could try to take it down a notch, or...”

“Are you asking me to stop liking him?” Jonny dumbly replied.

“More or less.”

“But...” Jonny looked over to the door, behind which was the room where Chris was laying. “I don't know if I can do that...”

It wasn't really that he didn't know if he could, it was more that he didn't want to. As conflicting as he felt at times, and as much as he liked his heart beating at a steady pace, he had never felt happier than when he was around Chris. To take that away- to even suggest taking that away... it was preposterous.

“Unfortunately, you're going to have to try. I know it won't be easy, but trust me,” Phil was starting to sound even more pretentious and fake by the second, “it's what's best for everyone.”

Phil gave a wink and walked off, leaving Jonny to feel very confused and saddened. He stood in his spot for a while, pondering what he should do. Meanwhile, the doctor's examination had gone a little off-topic.

“It's almost like I can't breathe sometimes, you know?” Chris said.

“Oh yes,” the doctor answered, nodding his head, “I know quite well. I had that happen to me once.”

“What did you do about it?”

“Well, I just hooked myself up to some oxygen, and bam! Problem taken care of.” The doctor laughed at his own joke, then tried to act serious again. “I talked to the girl who made me feel like that. Asked her out. Maybe you should do the same?”

“It's a little more complicated for me, I think,” Chris sadly said. “See, 'cause it's not a girl, it's one of my bandmates. I think that makes the situation kinda... messy.”

“Ah. It could still work out for you, though.”

“I don't know. I mean, I tried twice to tell him today, but both times it was like there was this thing that just stopped me. Well, the first time, I guess I just got scared or something, then the second time I passed out.”

“Maybe you should have someone else tell him,” the doctor suggested. “One of your other bandmates, or that Phil guy. He seems nice.”

“I could have Phil tell him, yeah,” Chris said, smiling a little. “That's a great idea, thanks!”

-

“You had something you wanted to ask me?” Phil began as he walked over to the couch. Chris was sitting upright now, feeling a thousand times better than earlier.

“Yeah, I was wondering if you'd do me a favor,” Chris replied, motioning for Phil to sit next to him.

“What sort of favor?”

“Well, I guess it's kinda awkward to ask, but...” Chris paused, then quickly jumped up and ran across the room. For several minutes he dug through various bits of paper until he found a scrap suitable to use for his purposes. Then he took another minute searching for a pen, with which he used to write a rather long note.

Phil just sat and waited for Chris's crazy shenanigans to be over with, and in his impatience he checked his watch several times within one thirty-second period. Chris finally sat back down a few minutes later and immediately handed the now folded paper to Phil.

“OK, I need you to give this to Jonny for me.” Chris smiled like he always did, trying to hide his actual nervousness. He most definitely realized that once the paper was in Phil's hands, and once he had asked the favor of Phil, there was no going back. “Can you do that?”

“Yeah, man, of course,” Phil happily replied, not even daring to ask what the note said. “I'll go do it right now, if you want.”

“Uh, sure.”

Phil politely smiled at Chris, then left to deliver the note. Chris folded his hands in his lap and tried to calm his nerves. It felt like a million bouncy balls were flinging themselves against the lining of his stomach until it eroded into nothing. Then they were just bouncing around his entire body.

Jonny was just chilling outside, accompanying Guy while he smoked. Phil peeked his head around the corner and greeted them both.

“Jonny, I need to speak to you again, if that's all right,” Phil discreetly said. Jonny quickly glanced at Guy, then nodded.

“OK,” he replied, then was led by Phil to a more private location a few feet away.

“Have you given thought to what I said earlier?”

Jonny's heart sank again as he was forced to remember what Phil had told him. Not that he had forgotten about it since then, though. “I'm sorry, Phil,” he genuinely began, “I really just can not do it.”

“I don't think you can really determine that since it's only been about an hour. I think you need more time... Just try. I'm sure you can do it if you set your mind to it.”

“Do I really have to? I mean, if I just, you know, don't act on it, then it's not bothering anyone, right?” Jonny asked with hopeful eyes. Phil, unfortunately, shook his head, and Jonny frowned.

“Listen, Jonny, whether or not you think it's affecting the group, it is. And even if it's unintentional. Sometimes even just one smile left for a second too long can make everyone feel uncomfortable.” Phil placed a hand on Jonny's shoulders and locked their eyes together. “Do you really want to make everyone feel uncomfortable, Jonny?”

“What if I can't?” Jonny replied in a near-whisper. “What if I can't stop liking him?”

“If you can't do it on your own, then... well, we might need to take some more drastic measures. But all I'm asking right now is that you at least try. OK?”

It took all his strength to do so, but Jonny reluctantly nodded, extracting a consequential smile from Phil's pompous face. “I'll try.”

“You're a good man, you know that? A good man.” Phil shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans as he walked away. Once he was far enough from Jonny and Guy, he pulled out the paper Chris had given to him. He flicked the corner of it a few times, contemplating what to do with it. He thought about ripping it up, but was afraid that someone might find it and piece it back together again. He thought about burning it, but realized that the smell would probably attract the attention of other people, and he didn't want to have to explain himself. So instead, he chose the only option he felt was available- he forced the paper into his digestive system.

The worst part was probably the taste, as the ink was rather nasty. But Phil didn't care, he just needed to get rid of the evidence. He eventually did, and decided afterward that he needed a nice glass of water to wash it down. Of course, the only refreshments were in the dressing room, and Phil knew he was going to run into Chris again. That was all right, though, because Phil was prepared. Whatever Chris decided to interrogate him with, he was going to be able to answer perfectly without faltering even the slightest.

Sure enough, as soon as Phil entered the room, Chris jumped up and was at his side in an instant. “Did you do it? What did he say? Did he say anything? Did you stay to watch him read it? Did he tell you to say anything? How'd it go?”

“Chris, calm down a bit first, then I'll tell you.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.” Chris closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “OK.”

Phil watched him for a moment, as if he was skeptical that Chris had actually calmed down, then said, “I gave him the note.”

“...And?”

“And... well...” Phil twisted his mouth up and slowly shook his head. Chris's face fell as his heart dropped to the floor.

“Oh...” he said, tears beginning to well. “Oh... Right... Um,” his voice was shaking now, “could you excuse me for a minute?” He buried his head in his hands and whisked away into some other room. Phil got himself a glass of water and gulped it down as quickly as he could. It was hardly enough, though, and he found himself pouring a second glass as soon as the first was gone. As he did so, he heard muffled sobs wave through the walls.

“Fucking pansy,” Phil muttered to himself. He threw down the second glass of water, which helped a lot more than the first. Then he left the room, feeling rather accomplished and proud of himself.

He passed by Jonny and Guy- who were headed towards the dressing room- gave a friendly wave, and continued on to where his car was. He was a little tired now, and he felt that he deserved a rest after all the hard work he'd done.

When Jonny and Guy finally arrived in the dressing room, Chris's sobs had grown even louder. Jonny and Guy exchanged glances, and Jonny knew that he'd be the one who would have to console Chris. But he was more than OK with that.

He lightly pressed open the door of the room Chris was in. Most of the lights were off, save for one small lamp in the corner. Buried underneath its dim light was Chris, curled up in a ball with a picture frame in his hand.

His tears splashed onto the glass front, and he could hear footsteps approaching. He didn't bother to move or acknowledge the guest, though. He just continued to stare at the picture.

“Hey, Chris,” Jonny quietly said. He sounded apprehensive, and his actions mimicked the same tone. He carefully stepped over to where Chris was sitting, and looked down at the photo Chris was holding.

It was a picture of the two of them, one that had been taken when they were touring in the States. They'd had a few days off when they were staying in New York, and they took the opportunity to visit Niagara Falls. Just the two of them.

It had been a lovely day, warm and sunny like one would hope a summer day would be. Guy and Will had decided that they would much rather stay in the city and shop around, so Chris and Jonny went north by themselves. They made sure to take loads of pictures while they were there, but sadly Chris had only brought a disposable camera with them and not a digital. Which was fine at first, and Chris had gone to develop the pictures, which all came out beautifully. Guy suggested that they make some sort of collage out of the pictures, they were just that nice.

But something happened to them before that was possible. It seemed that somehow Guy had left a lit cigarette too close to the envelope, and the pictures were all damaged. Something was off about the whole thing, though, since Guy had not been anywhere near the pictures while he was smoking. Jonny, naturally upset about the ordeal and always wanting everything to make perfect sense, went on and on about it, but Phil told him each time to just drop it. It was too late, anyway. Jonny reasoned that Phil was right, and he let it go.

Not every picture was ruined, though; Chris had secretly kept one of them before the rest were destroyed. He had it framed and brought it with him everywhere. It always made him smile whenever he was feeling down and Jonny wasn't around to cheer him up. Except for now, when it just made him cry even harder.

“What do you want, Jonny?” Chris bitterly asked. He lifted his eyes from the picture and pointed them at Jonny. They were sad and gray, nearly as dim as the poor lighting.

“I just wanted to see if you were all right.”

“Yeah, well, I'm not. But what do you expect?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, why would I be all right?”

Jonny still wasn't fully understanding what Chris was talking about. “Chris, did everything go OK with the doctor?”

“Oh, does it make you feel better to change the subject like that?” Chris sounded angry now, which only confused Jonny more. “Shift the blame off yourself, right?”

“Chris, I don't know what you're talking about.”

“What do you mean you don't know what I'm talking about? Phil gave you that note, didn't he?”

“Phil didn't give me anything,” Jonny replied, shaking his head. Chris immediately looked apologetic, then just as confused as Jonny was.

“But he said he did... and then...”

“What note was it?” Jonny quietly asked. But Chris- though unintentionally- ignored him.

“Why would he lie like that?” Chris looked back at the picture of Jonny and himself. He ran his thumb across Jonny's smiling visage, and muttered, “He told me that he gave it to you, and you...”

“I what?” Jonny asked, a little louder than before. “What note was it, Chris?”

Chris slowly moved his eyes to Jonny. “Remember when I told you I was lovesick?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, then, you're, like, the virus or something.” Chris stood up and raised the frame so Jonny could see the picture. “Look how happy we were.”

“We definitely were happy, yeah,” Jonny agreed in a low voice.

“Can we be that happy forever?” Jonny said nothing in return, so Chris kept talking. “Jonny, if you didn't get the note, then you didn't know that I love you, did you?”

“No... You love me?”

“Of course.”

“I... I guess I kinda knew,” Jonny shrugged slightly, “I mean, I always hoped anyway.” Jonny began to smile, but then he remembered something. “Oh...”

“Oh?”

“Well, it's just that Phil... he talked to me earlier, and said that this wasn't appropriate for the workplace. Or something to that effect.”

“Phil told you that?” Chris incredulously asked. “And he lied to me... Jonny, how long have we loved each other?”

“Uh...” Jonny paused to think, which took a while. “A really, really, really long time?”

“What if that entire time, the only thing keeping us from being together was Phil?”

“Well, that's certainly an interesting theory,” Jonny replied. “And it does make sense...”

“CHRIS! JONNY!” a booming voice called from the other room. Neither of the men were aware that Guy could make such loud noises, but apparently he could. They both rushed to see what was wrong, and received the answer, “Something's wrong with Phil.”

“Seriously?” Chris replied. Sure enough, laying on the ground in front of Guy was Phil, and he looked rather unconscious.

“No, I'm joking,” Guy sarcastically remarked. “Is that doctor still around somewhere?”

Ten minutes later, the doctor was rushed into the room. But by that time it was too late.

“I'm terribly sorry, gentlemen, but your friend is... well, gone.”

“Gone?!?!” Chris shrieked. “Oh my!”

“Gone, indeed,” the doctor repeated. “By the looks of it, he's been ink poisoned.”

“Well, that's... that's certainly something. Why do you think that happened?”

“Who knows? Maybe he... well, I hate to make light of such a devastating situation,” the doctor quietly and condescendingly chuckled, “but maybe he got hungry and decided to munch on some paper!”

And suddenly Chris was struck with a thought. “Yeah, maybe he ate a note...” He shared a knowing glance with Jonny, and despite the sadness of the scene, they both ended up smiling. Chris reached out and grabbed Jonny's hand, no longer afraid of what may happen as a result, because he now knew; nothing could ever stop true love, not even the devil.