GUY is a computer lovahh! But when his computer love puts him in danger, he's not the only one who suffers the consequences.
It's not a slash fic!
---
Have you ever felt completely alone? Surrounded by people, but completely alone. I have. All the time. Well, most of the time. It's not so bad, though, because when I don't feel alone, I want to be alone.
And it's not just the fact that women scare me. I've always been uncomfortable around them. Maybe... maybe I'm gay? No, well, I've toyed with that idea plenty of times before, but the truth is men intimidate me no less than women do. Really, I'm just not a social person. People... I don't like them.
I like computers. Technology is fascinating. That anyone at anytime can look up any subject they desire, and have the potential to then learn vasts amounts about it simply by pressing a few buttons is astonishing. And even though I don't like people, the ones I talk to online are... different. They're not like the ones who pester me in real life. They're much nicer, and they actual share the same interests as me.
You see, I'm part of this photography site. Message boards, forums, whatever you want to call it. We talk about all sorts of photography-related things, some things not related to photography. It's great. There are some amazingly talented people on there.
My parents are sometimes concerned that I spend all my time online. What can I say? I feel more comfortable there. I wish they'd understand, but I know they won't. They think technology is overrated, and that the only people who matter are those who you can actually, physically see and talk to. But I hate all those people.
Well, not all of them. Jonny is the only person I've ever been able to stand. We've been best friends since... maybe before we were even born? Forever, anyway. He's the only person who really gets me. Sometimes, when I talk to him, I can tell that he sort of resents my passion for the online world and maybe even feels like I neglect him. Honestly, though, without him I wouldn't be able to survive in the real world.
I've told him before that he should join the site I'm on, and that maybe I'd talk to him even more then. I don't think he could tell whether or not I was being serious. I'm not even sure whether or not I was being serious.
He'd probably love it, though. There's this one guy on there- one of my best online friends actually- Chris, and I think they'd totally hit it off. Oh, the conversations they could have. I'm laughing just thinking about it. Anyway, there's another guy, Will, and some people say he's a total troll, but I think he's rather funny and intelligent. Killer shots of flowers. Seriously, every time he posts a picture, a part of me wants to cry with tears of jealousy, if there's such a thing. I'm sure there has to be.
Jonny wouldn't do that, though. He's quite happy with people. Sure, he's shy, like I am, but not as shy as I am. He actually talks to other people, exchanges deep and meaningful words with them. I envy him sometimes.
So, that's me in a nutshell. The internet. Two words to describe me. Well, does 'the' even count? In any case... yeah.
-
“How does that sound?” I ask Jonny. He's sitting on the edge of my bed, my laptop balancing on his left thigh. His eyes are fervently scanning the screen, and his face shows no emotion whatsoever.
“Do you really have to put this much detail into your Facebook page?” he replies, scrunching up his eyebrows and lifting the laptop off his leg. “I mean, it's good, but isn't it a little... long?”
“Oh, I guess so.” I can't say that I'm not disappointed. I rather thought he'd like it, especially since I praised him. I look up at him, and I can see it in his eyes: Stick to photography, Guy. I will, of course, because I know I'm shit at writing. I just wanted his opinion.
“Thank you for saying that stuff about me,” he quietly adds, knowing that it's what I want to hear. Suddenly, a blinking orange alert at the bottom of the screen tells me I've got an IM from someone. It's Chris, who feels the need to inform me that his little brother is annoying the hell out of him. I laugh at what he's saying, and Jonny narrows his eyes questioningly. “Who are you talking to?”
“Huh?” I say, sort of a reflex for me. I quickly look up at Jonny, but soon enough I have to refocus my attention back to the computer.
Ew, he's sticking his tongue out at me now. What a freak.
“Uh, it's Chris,” I quickly answer, speedily typing my reply to Chris.
Haha, ewwww! You should tell him to shove off.
“Chris.” Jonny mulls it over, thinking his hardest to remember the name. “Is that the one you think I'd get along with?”
I already did! … and my mum yelled at me for it. :P
“Yeah. Do you want to talk to him?”
Dude, my friend Jonny is here, and I'm trying to convince him to get on and talk to you.
Do it! I'd love to talk to him. :D
Jonny nervously scratches the back of his neck. “Um, I... guess..”
Ahhh, he said yes! Hold on...
I motion for Jonny to sit next to me, and he reluctantly scoots back to where I'm sitting. I tilt the screen back a little so it's easier for him to see and inch the laptop in his direction.
OK, here he is...
Jonny blankly stares at the screen as another line pops up.
Hi, Jonny! I'm Chris, but I'm sure you already knew that.
I watch Jonny as he continues to stare at the screen, totally unsure of what to do. He just keeps blinking. “Jonny,” I nudge him, and he looks at me with alert eyes.
“Oh, uh... what should I say?” he asks in a worried tone. It's funny, usually I'm the one like that, and he's the one who's calm and knows what to do.
“Just say hi. That's a good place to start.” Jonny twists his mouth to the side and slowly begins to type.
Hi.
“Is that good, then?” he asks, rather unsure of himself. I laugh at his blatant newbishness, which I think makes him feel a bit insecure.
“Write more,” I say to justify my laughter. He sighs and is soon at the keys once more, trying his hardest to think of something to write.
So... apparently Guy thinks we'd be great friends.
Hm, should we believe him? I don't think I know him as well as you do. :P
Well, I don't think anyone really knows him, to be honest. He's keeps to himself a lot.
Seriously?? 'Cause on here he's a total post whore!
Jonny anxiously looks up at me, and even though I'm cracking a smile, he seems to be really worried.
Oh, maybe we should stop talking about him, since he's still right here.
Nah, he can deal with it. HEAR THAT, GUY? YOU'RE A WHORRRRE!
I burst out laughing, which seems to only slightly comfort Jonny. He's starting to smile himself, though, so I begin to think that maybe my thoughts about him and Chris being friends weren't so far off.
Isn't it weird to talk to people you've never met before? I don't know if I could do something like this every day.
I don't think it's weird. To me, it's no different from talking online to the people I do know in real life. Plus, I think you'd get used to it after a while.
Maybe... I don't know, it's just very odd for me to think that I'm talking to you, and you could know all this stuff about me, but I've never met you, and never even talked to you until just now. You know what I mean?
Yeah, I can understand that. But like I said, I think you just get used to it eventually. So, have you never talked to other people online before, then?
No... not anyone who I don't personally know.
Well, there's a first for everything! :P
Yeah, I suppose there is. Listen, I'm gonna give the computer back to Guy now. It was nice talking to you.
It was nice talking to you, too! :D You should totally stop worrying about talking to people online and then maybe we could chat more often. ;)
Um, I'll think about it.
Haha, bye!
Jonny hands me back the computer, looking rather dissatisfied. Chris on the other hand, is endlessly thanking me for convincing Jonny to talk to him.
I completely agree with you, Guy, he and I could totally be best friends. I mean, we didn't really say much to each other, but I still agree with you. :P
Next time I'll try to get him on here for longer. He needs to stop being such a newb! :P
“Yeah, and I think my mum wanted me to be back at, like, eight.” Jonny walks over to the door and nearly leaves without saying goodbye. When he does, I look up to bid him farewell, and I can see that look again on his face. I don't know why, I've been paying attention to him. We hung out all afternoon, in fact, but for some reason he still looks rejected. Poor Jonny.
-
We're not really doing anything in French class, but we're in the computer lab, so I decide to sneak onto the forums while the teacher isn't looking. It's really not hard to do, though, as I'm sitting all the way in the back and the teacher doesn't pay us any attention anyway.
When I log on, a pretty notification informs me that I've got a new PM. I'm always excited when people send me things; it makes me feel special. But as I click on the link, I find that the message is not from someone I've talked to before.
Subject: Your pictures
Hey! I've just been looking around on the site, and I wanted to tell you that I think you are an amazing photographer. :)
Oh, and I'm Natalie, by the way.
Wow, as if I didn't feel special enough already, that message has sent me over the top. I can't help smiling as I reread it a thousand times. It's always nice to receive a compliment, isn't it? And Natalie... that's a beautiful name.
Subject: Re: Your pictures
It's a short reply, but I think it gets the job done. I send it, and then I momentarily switch back to the work I'm supposed to be doing, because the girl sitting next to me is being really nosy and staring at my screen.
“Can I help you?” I say, perhaps a little too harshly. She gives me a nasty look, then turns back to her computer. Whatever, at least she's not bothering me now.
I only go about four minutes before the urge to click back to the forums takes over my being. Besides, I'm almost finished with my French work, anyway.
It seems as though in that brief window of time, I've already got another message. Unsurprisingly, it's from Natalie.
Subject: Re: Re: Your pictures
Wow, what an original name. Haha, sorry. :P
So, how long have you been doing photography?
Ugh, there's always something to remind me of how much I hate my parents for giving me such a plain name. Seriously, how boring to you have to be to name your kid Guy?
Well, what can I say? My parents are the most creative people alive.
I've been doing photography for about two years now. :) How about you?
I probably would have gotten another reply a minute later, but the bell went off before I even had the chance to hit send. Not wanting to be late to my next class, I hit the button as quickly as I can and then bolt out the door. On my way out, my teacher gives me a funny look, and I get the feeling that she knows I'm not doing my work like I should. Oh, well.
And for some reason, I can't stop thinking about that message for the rest of the day. Am I really that sad that even tiny compliments from strangers fill me with mass joy? There's no other reason I can think of.
-
I'm extremely surprised to get an IM from someone who is apparently not on my friend list, and even more surprised when I see that it's from Jonny. When did he get a screenname?
Hey, Guy!
Whoa, Jonny, glad to see you join the internet world! :P
Well, I figured I'd give it a go.
Awesome! :D Hey, do you want Chris's screenname?
Uh, sure, why not?
I quickly switch to one of the other windows I have open.
Dude, Jonny's online! I'm gonna give him your screenname so you guys can talk.
Ooh, I'm excited! :D
I give Jonny the name, and I assume they're talking, as it's a few minutes before I talk to either of them again.
Um, so, how are you?
I'm good. You?
Same.
What made you decide to get a screenname?
I'm not sure, really. I just thought it was something I should do.
Well, I'm glad you did. :D
Yeah, so is Chris. :P
Haha, he really likes talking to you, I guess. Does it freak you out? :P
Actually, at first it did, when I was talking to him that one day at your house, but it doesn't bother me now. I don't know, it's weird.
Aw, you guys are gonna be BFFLs, I can tell. You won't even need to have me as a friend anymore.
BFFLs?
I have to laugh at Jonny. I just have to. Since he's around me often enough, you'd think that he'd pick up on some of the internet language. He hasn't, though, so I have to laugh at him. Instead of replying, like I should have, I just switch to my browser. It would appear that I have a new PM.
Well, I'm not actually so crafty when it comes to cameras, but I love to look at other people's work. I suppose I would do well as some sort of art critic or something.
Do you mind if I ask where you live? The landscape in your pictures is just amazing.
One thing that parents should always tell their children is not to give away too much personal information to strangers online. It's a dangerous world filled with scary people. Now, in my experience, I've never found anyone to be remotely suspicious, so I wouldn't think twice of telling someone where I live. It's not like I'm giving away my address.
Subject: Oh, well, aren't you special?
You should try it sometime! After all, it just takes some practice, really. I'm sure you'd take lovely pictures.
It would be proper for me to respond to Jonny now, so I click back to our conversation.
Best friends for life. Did you really not know that? :P
Well, gee, I'm sorry that I don't live in the internet like you.
...That was a joke, by the way.
-
“It's chicken. It's delicious, trust me.” I hold out a forkful of what I'm pretty sure is chicken. I hope so. It tastes like it's covered in some sort of barbecue sauce or something. It is delicious, certainly, despite its ugliness.
“No, thank you,” Jonny distastefully replies, almost shoving my hand away. I shrug, because what else am I going to do? I can't force him to eat, even though I hate it when he doesn't buy food, and then I'm sitting there stuffing my face, and he just sits there and looks bored. We're in a food court, why would you just sit there and look bored? Really.
“So, how'd talking to Chris go?” Jonny narrows his eyes at me, like, Why would you ask me that at a time like this? and shifts a little in his seat.
“It was OK.. I don't know what you're expecting me to say.”
I roll my eyes at him and whip out my best sarcastic tone. “Obviously, I want you to say that you've never realized you could find your soul mate even though you live in two neighboring, yet completely different countries, and that one day very soon you're going to run off with him to Norway and get married, because that's what soul mates do.” I pause for dramatic effect and to indicate that I'm going to stop being sarcastic, and then I forcefully stab my fork into my food. That's also for dramatic effect. “Or you could just tell me that I was right, and you guys are getting along fairly well. Or, if that's not true, then tell me that. I'm not expecting you to say anything, really.”
Jonny has this air about him like he's a little kid who was just reprimanded. I don't know why. He brushes off what I said and taps his fingers impatiently on the table. “Are you almost done with that? I'd like to get going soon.”
I give a dry laugh and grunt, “So would I.” Jonny's eyes soften a little, and he looks almost hurt.
“I just meant get going... you know, shopping around. I didn't mean leave altogether.” I raise my eyes and nod.
“Yeah.” Sighing, I take one last look at my lunch and decide that I don't want it anymore. I stand up and head towards the garbage bins, and Jonny is following closely behind. After ridding myself of all nutritious substances I'm holding, we start to walk in the direction of some of the stores. There aren't many stores I particularly care for, but Jonny likes some of them, so I don't mind just wandering around with him. Jonny makes it a lot easier to deal with people in the real world.
We walk past this music and electronics store, and suddenly Jonny decides that he needs to check out the guitars they've got. While he busies himself looking at the Fenders, I venture over to the cameras. There's a nice Canon I've had my eye on for a while, but I just haven't been able to save enough just yet. Soon, though.
Some sales girl walks up to me and asks if I need any help. I tell her to bugger off as politely as I can. I think it came out as, “No, thanks, I'm fine.” What a jerk I am.
Jonny and I spend a good ten minutes in there, gawking at everything that intrigues us, and then we decide it's time to leave and maybe go somewhere else, if not home.
“So, what's up with you then?” Jonny asks as we walk around, pretty much aimlessly, and I shrug in response.
“Nothing, really. Same old same old.”
“How did it go with that one girl? Did you ever ask her out?” I can barely even remember what Jonny is talking about; it felt like forever ago since we last talked about it. About her, really.
“Oh... no. I didn't. But she would have said no, anyway.” Jonny looks at me like I'm crazy, but his expression also tells me that he's not surprised. He thinks he's so great because he goes through, like, five girlfriends a day, but I'm always single. I just don't like people enough.
But, well, I have been thinking of this one girl a lot more as of late.
-
Coincidentally, Natalie and her father are actually planning a trip to Scotland, and pretty close to where I live. She suggested that we meet up somewhere near by, and I gladly agreed.
Subject: Meeting
OK, so I googled places near where you live :P and would it be all right for us to meet at the mall? It's close enough, right?
Also... are you telling your parents that we're meeting? My dad knows, obviously.
Subject: Re: Meeting
The mall would be perfect! It only takes me, like, five or ten minutes to walk from my house. :D
And no. :\ I don't think my mum would appreciate me telling her that I'm meeting someone I met online. It's OK, though, I'll just tell her I'm going to meet up with Jonny.
Tomorrow, right? And what time, then?
Subject: Re: Re: Meeting
Great! Tomorrow, yes, and how about noon?
And yeah, I was a bit afraid of asking my dad, too. But he's cool with it.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Meeting
Wonderful! Can't wait! :D
So, I'm sitting at the computer, staring at the message one last time before I finally leave. As planned, my mum thinks that I'm meeting up with Jonny. I'll probably do that later, so it's not a complete lie, right? Right.
My shoes are on, I've got my jacket- even though it's pretty warm out today, I need it as an item of recognition so Natalie will know exactly who I am- and I'm about three-quarters of the way out the door before my mum asks where I'm going.
“The mall, remember?” I yell as I make my way down the sidewalk.
“Oh. Don't be gone too long!” she shouts, and I think there was more to what she said, but I'm too far away to hear her anymore. At least, too far away to be able to make out what she's saying.
I'm a little nervous, and my hands are shaking a little as I walk to the food court, where I told Natalie I would be. I'm not really worried about, like, thinking that she's gonna be this gorgeous girl, when she's actually some really ugly chick, I'm more worried about what she'll think of me. I just want her to like me.
“Guy!” someone calls. My heart almost races, until I realize that it's not a girl who's calling me. The only other person I think it would be, then, is Jonny, but it's definitely not his voice.
I spin around to see who yelled my name, and I find that coming from that direction is an older-looking man, probably about 40 or so. Then I get this really bad feeling. I want to run back home, but my legs won't move.
“Hey!” he said. “I hope you don't mind, Natalie's waiting out in the car. She said she was too nervous to meet you just yet, and she wanted to sit down and calm herself first.”
Words refuse to come out of my mouth, because I'm not even sure what to say. Noticing that I look a little intimidated, he continues, “We can just go out there now, she should still be in the car.”
“Um...” I finally speak, my throat completely dry and my voice beginning to crack, “Actually... I'm not feeling so well, I think I'm just gonna go hom-”
“Nonsense,” he replies, and places one of his hands on my arm. His grip isn't tight, but it's forceful, and I have never felt more scared in my life. “Natalie really wants to meet you.”
“I... I...Please let go of me,” I stammer. He doesn't let go, and I scream for him to leave me alone, yelling at the top of my lungs, begging someone to help me, but no one's helping me. I'm screaming, why isn't anyone helping me???
Because I'm still frozen, and the screaming's just in my head. But he lets go of me, and I immediately take the opportunity to sprint out the doors nearby. I don't know if he was expecting me to do that, because I take a quick look back to see that he's still just standing there, staring at me as I run.
I keep running all the way home, but on the way I pass something really strange- a car, like, a Sedan or something, with an unconscious guy sitting in the front with his head leaning against the window, which has the words “HELP ME” written in some sort of dark substance. It looks almost like lipstick or something, but then I wouldn't really know what lipstick looks like smeared on a window.
But I ignore it, as foolish as that seems, and just keep running because I'm too afraid to stop. Several times the thought crossed my mind that he could be following me back to my house, but I can't risk stopping anyway.
When I finally get home, I fling the door open and slam it behind me. I feel much safer now, so I rest against the door and try to catch my breath. Once I feel calm, I walk into the living room and receive quite a shock- there's this dark-haired, really pretty girl sitting on the couch, crying. She sees me, slowly looks up, and the instant our eyes connect I know who she is.
“Guy...” she says in a near-whisper. She stands up and makes her way over to the doorway, where I'm still standing, stunned. “You're OK?”
“I'm... well, I guess I'm fine.” She frowns at me, looking like she's about to burst into tears again.
“I'm so sorry.”
“What...?” I'm not sure how to finish the question, because there are just so many ways to do so. What the hell is going on? What are you doing here? What did my mum think when she let you in?
Obviously my mum must have let her in, and she'd have been wondering what some really pretty girl was coming to see me for. I'd have been wondering that, too.
“Come sit down,” she says, as if it's her own house to invite people to sit down in. But I don't mind, because I just want answers, so I follow her over to the couch and we sit down together. “OK, so... Ugh, where do I begin? Well,” she lifts her pretty eyes up to me, “I have been talking to you. And everything I said is true, Guy, I really do love your pictures. It's just that...”
“Just what?”
“My father,” she quietly starts, “he's not a good person. And you're not the first...” She's quiet for a minute, then she sighs, her voice shaking with tears. “He always uses me as, like, bait. It's-”
She's cut off by sobbing, and the hug that I've given her. I shush her and tell her it's OK, and we just sit there like that for another few minutes.
“I just couldn't anymore. My uncle came with us... he was in the car, and of course he wouldn't let me leave. But I fought him, and I ran.” While she speaks, the vision of the car flashes in my mind. “I knew you lived here, so I thought it was a safe place to go... Your mum was pretty nice about letting me in.”
“Did you tell her who you were?”
“Not exactly. I just said I was one of your friends and I came to see you. She said you were out, but that I was welcome to wait here, since you wouldn't be gone long.” She looks at me again, with frightfully sad eyes. “There's something else, though.”
“What?”
“While you were gone, someone else came for you. Um...” She thinks for a moment, then seems to find her answer in the air. “Jonny, is it? He came 'round, then your mum was really confused. She said that he was supposed to be with you, and he didn't know anything about it. So, I had to tell her...”
Just then, I feel like there's this presence behind me, so I look and sure enough, my mum is standing at the doorway with an awful expression on her face.
“Mum...”
“Listen, Guy,” she says, coldly, but also with a hint of devastation, “I'm just glad you're OK. By the way, Jonny's still in the kitchen. I think maybe you should go talk to him.”
“Yeah,” I nod, then take one quick look at Natalie before I leave. She looks like a total mess, and I can't help feeling like all of this is my fault.
-
“Jonny, can we go back in time?”
“To before you decided to meet up with someone you've never met?” he bitterly replies, and adds, “Without even telling me.”
“To when we were little kids.” I flick some of the crumbs off the table and look up at him. “Do you remember when we first met?”
“Of course,” he quietly says. “You practically saved my life.”
“Jonny,” I laugh, because he's being so ridiculous, “you were on the jungle gym. In the little kid's park. You weren't gonna fall and die.”
“You don't know that!” Jonny laughs back. “If you hadn't come along and helped me down, I may very well not be here today. Besides, I was a very frightened four-year-old. I was even afraid of being eaten by the sandbox.”
Jonny and I laugh for a while, and he finished by shaking his head at the silliness of his youth. “I'm sorry, Jonny,” I sincerely say. I feel like I've lost touch with Jonny, and it makes me really, really sad. Because there's no one else in the world who gets me like he does. “For everything. I really, really don't deserve-”
My apology is interrupted by a loud crash from the other room, and as Jonny and I bolt out we see that the ruckus was caused by someone trying to break down the door. My mum and Natalie are there in an instant, and when the door finally does open, it's Natalie's dad who makes his way through.
“You,” he sternly bellows, pointing an ugly finger at Natalie. “We're leaving. Come on.”
“No,” a voice says, and surprisingly, it's my mum's. She takes a step towards Natalie's dad, and says, “You're not taking her. I've already phoned the police.”
“You can't tell me what I can and can not do with my own daughter,” he spits back, which kinda frightens me. He pushes past my mum and grabs Natalie's arm, forcing her out the door. But she resists heavily, and he can barely get her to move even a foot. Jonny and I take one look at each other, then we both run over and try to free Natalie.
“Stop it, you bastard!” she yells at her father. “Let go of me! I'm tired of your sick games and I'm gonna tell them everything you guys have done and everything you made me do!”
“You say one word and you're finished.”
“I'll say more than one word. You can't stop me!”
“Oh yeah?” He turns to the open doorway, and nods at the car that's sitting out front. Then he looks back at Natalie, and continues, “We'll see about that.”
“I hate you, you dirty old pervert!” Natalie cries, and then she's silent. Completely silent, and her mouth is left open as her eyes roll back and she falls to the ground. Somehow, we all managed to miss hearing the gunshot, but Natalie didn't miss feeling it rip through her. Outside the door, the man who seems to have been her uncle is sitting in the car with a rifle pointed right where she was once standing.
Time slows down; I look frantically back and forth between Natalie's unmoving body on the ground, and her father, who's now sprinting to the car. Part of me wants to run after him and smash his head into the ground, but I know that I'm not tough or brave enough to do that. There's also something else holding me back, some silently painful gasp coming from behind me.
I turn to see that the gasp had come from Jonny, who had been placed directly behind Natalie. At first I thought he was looking at her, gasping, but I soon realized that his eyes, while being pointed downwards, where actually looking at his hand, which was open and covered in blood. His face drained of color, and it was then that I noticed where the blood had come from- there was a rather large hole, now a terrifically dark red, right in the middle of his chest.
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